Tag Archive | love

Heart! We Will Release Him

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Heart, we will release him!

(Inspired by Emily Dickinson)

 

Heart, we will release him

From his unwitting prison walls;

Soul, we will grant his escape

Before the evening falls.

 

Mind, we will unlock him

From fantasies he did not see.

Breath, we will exhale him

So that we can all be free.

 

Fool, we will admit it –

Our walls were invisible to him.

Image, we will both resign

That chances were in fact too slim.

 

Arms, we will unfold him

From our unfelt embrace

Eyes, we will look away

And gaze no longer at his face.

 

Heart please help us hurry

Lest, when we pause to think of him,

Our weakness overtakes us,

And we imprison him again.

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Wild Nights (Thank You Emily D)

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Wild nights – Wild nights!
Were I with thee
Wild nights should be
Our luxury!

 

Futile – the winds –
To a Heart in port –
Done with the Compass –
Done with the Chart!

 

Rowing in Eden –
Ah – the Sea!
Might I but moor – tonight –
In thee!
 
~ Emily Dickinson
 
(painting – Sparks of Passion)

hands

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I remember

seeing Your hands

for the first

time

as You reached

to embrace me

on the porch

of the rustic cabin

and how they felt

as they held me.

I remember

the awakening

under their touch

and the skill with which

they opened me.

I remember their sting

their caresses

their pinching

their embracing

their enticing

and how warm mine felt

held by them.

Sir and I have …

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Sir and I have talked and shared so much this week.  Something in me…broke, but in a very good way.  I have held nothing back and have allowed Him into every single part of my heart.  I didn’t realize I had not done that, but I wanted to honor what I thought was His wish to remember that this is not guaranteed forever and that He was not looking for another lifetime partner when we began.

He does not want me to hold back….and He does not hold back either.  The truth….I love Him completely. And He loves me.  I have shared things with Him that I have never even approached with anyone else.  He knows me….so well.  I

Out time together this week has been so intimate, I have wondered for several days about posting these words.  They are His words.  On one hand, I want to sing from the rooftop.  On the other, our intimacy has been so deep, I almost want to hide some of it away.  But the words are so beautiful and so indicative of the Man and Master He is….I need a few people to share in my joy at how wonderful He is:

Given our agreement – a contract was never needed – I accepted your offered trust, vulnerability, and that need for submissiveness and submission (the two *are* different) that had always hovered like a hummingbird – gently, insistently – around your feminine desire, darting in occasionally, randomly, to insert a word into your ear: “This!”

From afar, I witness your life and offer needed, objective direction to steer and tack your course as a person.

And I decide when to drop anchor and invite you into, order you into, or throw you into the sea to plumb the depths of your femininity, submissiveness, submission and deepest needs.

And I derive my satisfaction and pleasure from all these.

Your Dom takes this very seriously.

held

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Painting: Heaven’s Embrace

Set adrift through changes

Chosen for survival

Rising and falling along the cracks

In resolve

Expectations fallen like seeds

On dry ground….

Looking in the shallow pool

Trying to identify the reflection

And evaluate its value.

Turning away and hiding in the tress.

Sleeping under it’s branches

Leaning against it’s strength

Renewed with strength,

Lying among its roots….

Until the weight releases

And I climb

And climb,

Never looking down,

Not knowing what is above the leaves…..

Him

Calling

Reaching out

Empowering me to let go,

And fall

Into His embrace

And fly.

 

Knowing is half the battle

I hope that thegirlspashn will allow me to use her comment on one of my recent posts as a springboard for this post.

“Please don’t take a break. I think writing can be cathartic in many ways. Submission is hard. I think you should talk to your Sir, ask him if you may speak freely about some things that are concerning you. I am sure he would want to know if you are in emotional distress. Nothing is worse than not asking, nothing more disastrous than allowing your mind to build up a thought that may or may not be true, a very slippery slope. I always find that asking what is going on and hearing the truth from the person, although maybe more hurtful and difficult, eases my mind because than at least I know what’s going on.”  

Very wise words.  When I started this blog, one of several reasons was so that I would have some place to share.  I do not discuss my intimate life with people I see every day.  Even my best friend, though she knows I have a dear friend miles away, does not know all of the particulars.  I have a friend who is a few years older who was a submissive in her marriage, but she also has her own life, and I am just not one to….ask other people to carry my load.  So an anonymous blag was a place to share some of the most intimate things that just couldn’t be kept inside.  A bit ironic, I know.

I have wondered whether to post this part of the story.  It isn’t some heart rate increasing erotic scene or a tear-of-sweetness inducing anecdote.  Are submissives supposed to be sad….or even angry?  I have long had that fear that I am desirable only as long as I am smiling.  Which is a pretty high standard for a human being to hold themselves to. Ick, I hate ending a sentence with a preposition. 🙂

Distance is hard.  So is being at different places in life.  Without revealing too much about my own life, let’s just say that I am at a place in life where I am still responsible for a couple of other people.  Sir has passed that stage in life.  He is freer to pursue whatever He needs to whenever He needs to.  I also think that in some ways Dominance is harder to experience via distance than submission.    Every time I am obeying Him I am in the room with myself, so to speak, experiencing it.  But let’s face it, Men are visual, tactile.  I think it is harder in some ways for Him to derive the same intensity that I do.

Well, beating around the bush is no fun to read, is it?  Sir and I began as friends.  And that is the direction we are taking again.  I am not sure how it will work.  In short, I love Him.  But He is a good Man.  I don;t want to lose Him completely.  He wants me to call Him by His name now.  I won;t do it on a blog of course out of respect for His privacy.  But the idea of not saying Sir makes me sad.

So blog readers….I am incredibly sad.  Heartbroken.  I cannot decide if I want to leave the blog for now or continue.  I am loathe to go on and on about my pain in front of others. Honestly, it tends to drive away.  But in this lifestyle sometimes there are endings.  That is the way it is.  And endings hurt.  But then after the hurt and some time, there are also beginnings.  I will be okay.

But I am glad I know.  I had sensed it, and knowing “something” is off is in some ways much more difficult than just…facing it.  I respect and care for Him.  I will likely love Him for a long time.  I learned so much.  And now I will learn something different.