Tag Archive | D/s

she remembers

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she remembers

the first time she heard his voice

trusting him, his trust in her

opening, awakening, feeling

she remembers

desire, hers and his

feeling beautiful

stretching, being stretched

kneeling, bowing, surrendering

she remembers

thrill, arousal, flying, 

the pounding of blood in her ears

his hand coming down swiftly

sensation, color, taste

she remembers

the journey, the lessons, the freedom

she remembers 

safety, danger, light, darkness

being bound, dancing, laughter

tears, strong arms, complete nakedness

she remembers

and she smiles

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Turn, Turn, Turn

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Change

I have looked at the cursor several times since typing that one word.  Cyberspace is still….strange to me at times.  People share at least what seems to be so much of themselves with virtual strangers.  Sharing abstract feelings, fantasies, euphemistic longings, memories….all of that is easy.

Sharing….personal life.

I have a very few very close friends.  They tell me I am like the layers of the earth.  I seem to “spill all quickly,” and then they realize after getting to know me further that that is just the first layer.  The layer of sharing that seems personal but it relatively easy to share.  The things that are fragile and intimate details and……private things are very private.

I think that is why it took a very long time for He and I to realize what was already true.  He was the first person in a very very long time who had penetrated the complex outer walls and really knew…..ME.  And because of His life…..I had been the same for Him.  We always knew and frequently reminded ourselves and each other that this was not for life.  This was for a time, for the purpose of awakening, for those initial steps into a journey we both had dreamed of taking.  He sent me a picture…..it was of something brand new, something that needed to grow.  We talked about the care with which it would be tended, and how once the roots had taken hold and growth was hearty, there would not be a need for the same kind of tending.  In other words, we would begin to grow together, and then that growth would eventually take us to the place we were grew better apart.

Ah….this is why the deeper layers are harder.  No poetry or racy stories 😉  I am not as free as He needs someone to be.  He needs more than I am free to give.  I crave……..something.  I know it is just out of my clarity, but it is….something.  I need regroup, wait, then think about taking the risk.

I called this post Turn, Turn, Turn because I love that song, and I have always loved that passage in Ecclesiastes.  Sometimes things are just for a season.

Touched without contact

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Whispers, words,

The soothing voice

Igniting

Images, senses,

Guiding phrases

Arousing

Touches, caresses,

Spoken seductions

Building

Kissing, fondling,

Rumbled speaking

Winding

Reaching, Taking

Final crescendo

Commanding

Releasing

Inciting

Ecstasy

Without a touch….

Surrounding with control

Evoking surrender

Stroking with tenderness

Drying tears

Wrapping embrace

Blissful sleep

Touch

Without contact……

For now

The Code

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I have always loved this painting.  It strikes me a sensual, classic, erotic, and beautiful.  Recently, however, it has taken on new meaning…….

The title is Grande Odalisque.  Sir is a very serious Dominant who researches and reads and is always looking for new ways that we can explore, and he found this site:

http://codeodalisque.blogspot.com/

It has been fascinating to read about this very old tradition, and though there are aspects of it that do not “fit” us exactly, the sensuality and focus seem to be made just for us.  

I love that Sir takes His role as my Dominant so very seriously.  And I love serving Him.  Next month seems far away, but it really isn’t….and I cannot wait to worship.

My submissive model

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I am not certain she would classify herself as “a submissive” in the lifestyle sense.  But she was….and is, in practice.  And without even thinking of it consciously, she is my ideal.

She is beautiful and utterly feminine even without frills (which she rarely wore).  She was successful in her career, one of the first women in the state in her position, attaining a PhD in her early 40’s.  She was strong but soft.  She was gracious and tactful and kind but did not suffer fools gladly.  She cooked, her house was always neat, and she looked put together at all times, even if the clothing was simple and casual.  She did what worked.  She cared for her husband, flirted with him, discussed with him, served him, and challenged him.  She was no pushover, but if he wanted a drink or sandwich, she instinctively got up and made it for him, never feeling put upon to do so.

She was shrewd and wise, but she treated everyone around her with tact and humanity even if they did not return the favor….because her actions were based on character and not emotion, though she did have emotion and empathy.  Even in disagreement she had……class.

Yes, class is a word that describes her well.  Class, tact, grace, ladylike, strong, humble, confident…….all woman and very self-aware.

That is the kind of submissive I want to be – the kind of woman I want to be.  That is the type of person whom it is easy to respect.

Thank you, Mom.

all

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The clicking lock, the opening door,

He finds me kneeling on the floor.

He lifts my chin, I see Him smile,

His dark expression full of guile.

I cover His hand with kisses sweet,

And then He pulls me to my feet.

He turns me ’round, a quick surprise,

And put the blindfold o’er my eyes.

He lifts me up into His arms,

And I am helpless to His charms.

A tender touch, a firm caress,

A stinging smack across my breast.

My hands are tied above my head,

My ankles fastened to the bed.

I feel His breath, I hear His mouth,

Those biting kisses heading south,

His roving hands that tease and twist,

Until my body fills with bliss.

A wash of thrill, a bit of pain,

Until I beg Him, “please,,,again…”

My being bending to His will,

His dark commands my senses fill.

My self does not belong to me;

My full surrender sets me free.

And when I’m spent, wet, and replete,

Because of Him, I feel complete.