Kind Correction

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I state up front that I am a newbie.  Sir and I have only been exploring D/s for eight months, and we are learning as we go.  I know that correction is part of this lifestyle.  I have…um….earned my share of it: corner time, writing, denial, and spanking.  Sir is strict.  However, He is also tender.  And He knows my and my heart.

I have read some about correction, discipline, and consequences, and I have to say I am so very thankful for Sir and for His particular temperament.  There have been times when He has expressed disappointment during our time together and He has said He was singing off for the night or turning in, and that we would not talk again until tomorrow.  There have been times that He has been very firm, with no room in His voice or demeanor for softness.  I have been spanked, I have been in the corner, I have been denied playtime with Him, I have cried tears over disappointing Him.

BUT

I have never been shunned.  Never been sent away not knowing when or if I would be allowed to return.  Truthfully, I cannot imagine such a thing.  I am not particularly high maintenance.  I do not get 
in a wad” if Sir has to work long hours and several days or so pass without there being much contact.  I don’t get miffed about things like that.  And Sir is understanding of me as well because I am a mother and I work.  But….if tonight He became displeased and told me, “maybe you will hear from ME in six months, girl,”  I must confess…….I am not sure I would have any desire to return if He DID call for me.  When someone has become completely open and vulnerable, to rip away support unilaterally for a long stretch of time……I am not sure I consider that correction.  I would come closer to considering it cruelty.

Am I just a newbie?  Possibly.  But I can say with certainty that a Dominant who used those types of shunning corrections would not want me for a submissive….and vice versa.  

There.  That is my inexperienced thought for the day 🙂

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7 thoughts on “Kind Correction

  1. I’ve been in the scene for 17 years (I started in my very early 20’s). I once got in so much trouble that a previous Dom of mine did not speak to me for a week, but he was very clear about why (and I did something major!!) and when I would hear from him. He also let me know that it would be a difficult time for him as well as he did not like not talking or not seeing and the lack of my presence caused him pain as well. The time away was for me to reflect on what I wanted without his influence and when the day and time came that he said he would call me to discuss things, he did. It was a difficult process, but I learned immensely.

    I can’t imagine serving a Dom who would not be explicate about the punishment and the punishment time frame. It wouldn’t be the right fit for me. For me, a good quality Dom would understand that he has a responsibility to his submissive, even when she makes a mistake, and he also gets that he needs to ask himself first, did he contribute to the mistake. I didn’t read the blog, so I don’t have the full picture, and who knows what is and isn’t being said in the blog anyway, so I can’t really say if it’s an emotionally dangerous thing to do to that submissive. I do know that my own Sir would not do somethig like that and that is what works for me.

  2. My biggest fear is to be shunned for any amount of time. Corner time for an hour would be preferable. I’m not doing well with limited contact right now, and the reason has nothing to do with me…I think I would be unable to function if it happened as punishment – if I brought it upon myself. But if it did, I know that He would make it explicitly clear as to why and how long it would last…no real Dominant would leave it open-ended, would leave His sub with no clear answers…and that is my inexperienced opinion for the day…

  3. You said it well…
    I don’t have any experience with punishment… So I can’t offer any thoughts or advice but I like what you said.
    xo

  4. It is about respect and consideration. It is about our self esteem. It s about how we see ourselves and our value. If I see a man’s treatment as unkind or abusive it becomes my responsibility to respectfully illuminate my feelings. If he refuses to ‘hear’ me, heartbreaking though it may be, it tells me he does not respect or care for me as I believed, or believe he should.

    In my humble opinion, any man, Dominant or vanilla, who chooses to abandon his sub, or girlfriend, for an extended period of time, is cruel and unkind, and is not deserving of her love.

    Listen to your inner voice; your instinct. It is the angel on your shoulder and will always whisper the truth in your ear. It’s just a matter of being brave enough to listen.

  5. I think maybe to shun one for the time, and explain why, is good protocol. Every Dominant is different, but surely one cannot expect a submissive to just wait six months or maybe longer.
    Punishment is seldom needed unless one is just looking for a reason. When a submissive or slave has to be punished, most of the time a rule was broking on purpose, because they are not getting the attention they feel they need.
    To shun for a couple of hours a week maybe, this gives the submissive time to think, same as standing in the corner with a ball on her nose, it is thinking time, nothing more.
    I do not agree with every Dom, just as every Dom does not agree with me. So I cannot judge ones actions, I can only give my opinion.

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