This has been a significant week in my life in many ways. An MRI discovered an invader in my brain some time back, and that invader was removed this week. I simple procedure actually, but when the brain, and therefore the mind, are involved, there is always anxiety. And Sir knew this. Because He knows me.
There are many facets of D/s, and the ways those facets are enjoyed are as varied as the people who enjoy and explore them. One of the things that is most fulfilling, most….sure and trust-inducing to me about Sir and me is the fact that sexuality is only one of many facets we share. Don’t misunderstand me, I love……lovvvvve….the sexuality. The arousal and denial and passion and heat and raw wildness and yes, even the pain. BUT…….even in the “vanilla” world, two bodies connecting physically would not be enough for me.
Sir is many miles away, but He has chosen to hold my hand this week, beginning on the day before my procedure, when He exercised very tight control and dominance over me, demanded I keep in close touch and submit to Him in everything. It freed me from focusing on the anxiety of what was to come, of the unknown, of having a head frame screwed onto my skull (yikes), and helped me to focus elsewhere. I had the enjoyment of serving, which is so satisfying and induces this…serenity in me. Instead of lying awake staring at the ceiling or taking some form of “PM” medication the night before, I drifted into a peaceful, wrapped up sleep with Sir’s soothing voice in my ear.
And He has stayed so close, instructing, soothing, teasing, arousing gently, and yes, healing. Perhaps it sounds trite or overly romantic….but I believe with all my being that Sir’s presence in my life has sped the healing.
Last night we played….intensely. And there was such a depth to it, besides the always present ecstasy. I think it was because even though I love Sir’s love of my body and sexuality and submission in bed (or on my knees, or on a chair, or….:)) this week Sir has shown once again in such tangible ways that I am so much more than an erotic diversion for Him. And that makes me so very very blessed.