keeping the spunk

This post was inspired by the following blog by The Dom Next Door (whose blog is awesome BTW)

http://thedomnextdoor.wordpress.com/2012/07/20/can-submission-be-dominated/

The days I recently spent with Sir were wonderful.  We talked a lot about what our D/s relationship really is and what it means.  The day He gave me my collar, I wanted to wear it the whole evening, including when we went to the store to pick up a few forgotten items.  I did, and later we talked about what 24/7 means.  And here is the interesting part.  He said that if me following three steps behind answering only, “Yes Sir” was what 24/7 looked like, He wasn’t interested.  He wants conversation, stimulation (other than the obvious lol), even challenge.  He likes our laughter, our verbal sparring.  He isn’t willing to give that up.

The amazing part…..I was, but I have to say my heart just…glowed when He shared that with me.  I love submitting to Him, pleasing Him, kneeling, serving…….being dominated by Him.  BUT…I love the parts of me that might not fit the textbook submissive mode as well.  The part that doesn’t always agree, that enjoys good natured ribbing, that has….spunk.  And me NOT losing that independent part of myself, for Him, is actually another way to submit.  After all, we began as friends, then lovers…….He doesn’t want the parts of me that intrigued Him and made Him think and make Him laugh to disappear just because He presented me with a collar.

A learning site that I frequent mentions from time to time that there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to Dominance and submission.  I agree, and I am very very glad that Sir does as well.  Besides, giving up my bad puns would be a real loss for the universe………

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “keeping the spunk

  1. A wonderful, thought filled post! I enjoyed this immensely. Good for you and Him about the “spunk”. Think of it as spices in cooking. A little heat, sweetness, essence, salt, etc. It makes the good great and the great amazing.

    And I am humbled at your words. Most appreciative. Thank you.

  2. First off–Keeping the spunk? I had a totally different image cum to mind (pardon the pun). To me, 24/7 means being your natural self 24/7. I am naturally submissive. I want to be submissive with my Dominant whether we are in the bedroom or not. I want my Dominant to dominate over me 24/7, whether we are in the bedroom or not. Some aspects of protocol are a way of showing your Dominant respect and so they are perfectly acceptable to use and practice when appropriate to the situation (privately). I am submissive. I don’t want to draw attention to myself by parading around publicly parts of our relationship that others won’t understand. Calling my Dominant “Master” in public or for the viewing pleasure of anyone but him only cheapens the term for me. I don’t need the rest of the world to validate my relationship for me for it to be real. If anything, the more people you have to explain it to, the more you dilute it. As far as being a lobotomy-sub or a stepford-sub, no Dominant who is looking for that would get past five minutes with me. They would see right away that I am not that girl and if that is what they are looking for there is nothing wrong with that. That’s just not me. But as I have learned, it is subjective to the two who are creating and maintaining the D/s relationship together. If you like conversation, an array of music, laughter, cutting up and connecting on a genuine level with another human being, then hey–I’m your girl. If you are looking for a pet robot, well I can play that for a short time, but that is not who I am 24/7.

  3. exactly, dreamingsub. I am an extrovert. Sir is very friendly but it more introverted. In my marriage (which is now over), one of the things that hurt was that my husband seemed……..embarrassed by my extroversion. It is so wonderful that Sir embraces all of me, even the sometimes loud, effusive, center-of-attention parts. It is…..still amazing to me that society almost views the term “submission” with oppressive disdain, and I find that I feel freer to be ALL of me than I ever have.

    • Yes, submission is liberating. Also, very misunderstood by those outside of it. I am happy for you that you have found someone to be yourself with. All of you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s