The word echoed in my head as I brushed my hair, as I brushed my teeth, as I slipped out of the running shorts and t-shirt.
I looked around the room and locked the door. Something different. We had talked before about you watching me. What that would be like. And I realized…..I have never really watched myself. I looked over at the free standing tall, oval mirror in the corner and smiled. That would be something different. I picked it up and placed it at the foot of the bed, went back and forth between the bed and the mirror until I found an angle with the optimal….view. And I realized that something else would be different as well. Most of the time when I take matters “into my own hands,” it is dark, and I am likely to be under the blanket. But tonight the lights would be on and the blanket would be thrown back……so that I could watch myself.
I began by sitting “Indian style.” I ran my fingers through my hair, pulled my hair up with one hand and surveyed my neck, felt a bit shy about the whole thing and stuck my tongue out at my reflection. “Just do it, girl.” So I took a deep breath, closed my eyes (yes I know) and began fondling my breasts. It felt good. I wet the tips of my index and middle fingers and stroked the nipples until they hardened, then went back to kneading. Then I opened my eyes. I wasn’t sure what I would think, but sitting there, watching myself fondle my breasts, seeing the response of my nipples and the expression on my face……was pretty arousing. In fact, it , along with the little fantasy I had already been pondering, were sufficiently arousing to make me grow wet and begin to ache, so I stretched out with my head propped up by pillows and my knees pulled up, bent wide.
I have seen myself standing in the bathroom. I have seen myself the way one does when shaving, etc. But I have never opened myself up and actually “seen” myself. And I discovered that feeling the folds and seeing them was a very different experience. That there was a whole different response when I saw the wetness from inside me cover my fingers and then, through their motion, cover those folds, outside and inside. I began a slow and simple motion, sliding up and down, pausing occasionally to create those little circles around my clit. I fell into a rhythm, a pattern. And as I saw color deepen and saw that little knob that is normally hidden begin to swell, it was….hot. Yes, that word is overused, but it fits. God, Sir, the feeling and the visual together were very different. Then I inserted two fingers, and I began thrusting my hips and my fingers, imagining that they were not fingers. The motion was not slow….by this time I wanted to come. I needed to come. I felt the tension and the ache gather and the blood flow focus in that one place, and I squeezed my inner walls around my fingers, fascinated that it caused the tendons in my thighs to flex that way, and……I came. I could see the inner folds just a bit as they spasmed. I withdrew my fingers and opened myself up, pressing my clit. I wanted to see if I could see the orgasm. My legs twitched and obstructed my view a bit…..I guess someone else will have to describe that someday.
But now it was time to shift. Based on my fantasy, I knew I needed to get on my knees and elbows. I reached for the pink vibrator that had not yet been used. I did not turn it on, but I put one drop of warming liquid on it and massaged it for a moment. Then I inserted it into my folds, slowly, as far as I could, and began gently fucking again. I was not worried about bringing myself to orgasm again so soon. I just enjoy the slow, in and out sensation, and the sight of my profile, back arched, ass in the air, hair falling over the mattress, breasts suspended. And then I quickened the motion. My breathing became louder, faster again, I resisted the urge to close my eyes. The angle caused the vibrator to press against my clit on its way in and out, and I could feel it protrude again, I could feel the lips begin to come together and swell again. It is impossible to adequately describe that pre-orgasmic feeling, the building, the ache, the rapid changes. But there is nothing like that feeling…..the desire to draw it out as long as possible and yet also to rush for the “finish line” because the release brings that rush.
So……I slid the vibrator out from between the folds, brought my hand around the back of my body. And you already know what I did next, Sir. Slowly, with a relaxing exhale, I slid it into my ass. I closed around it and held it there for a moment. Then I began the slow rhythm. In…out….breathing…sliding…hips moving gently…back arching and then curving. over and over. I tilted a bit on my free elbow so that the tips of my index and middle fingers could play with my clit, just a bit. And I continued fucking my ass with the vibrator, feeling the sensation of that deep stimulation, the swelling and aching of my clit, and a spot somewhere deep inside, in between the two. I pressed my clit harder, stretching one of the fingers to the edge of my opening, where that spot that rises just before orgasm is located. and I tightened again. Tightening for me seems to intensify the sensations. I held perfectly still, except for the motion of the vibrator and my fingers, feeling everything in my belly come together….
And then release…..in a fireworks display. A rush of wetness that my hip and thigh hid but that ran down my fingers and thighs. My body shook, and I bit my lips together to muffle the moan. Everything felt good, and wild, and sensual, and animal. My face was intense…that is the only word I can find. I remained that way after the spasms subsided and just looked at myself, sweating and spent and as satisfied as one can be in solitary pleasure. Then, when I was sure my legs were steady, I replaced the mirror in the corner, cleaned my toy, and crawled under the covers.
What was that fantasy I referred to, you ask? Well, I will tell you more later if you like….but let’s just say that my setting of the table at our getaway was interrupted when you took my hands and bent me over, placing them in the seat of the chair. You hiked up my skirt, pulled aside my panties….and did exactly what I described the vibrator doing. And it felt…….amazing.
I can’t wait for the real thing.